To be clear, your farts don’t smell good. Not to me, and not to your partner, with whom you share a bed at night.
However, many people don’t mind the smell of their own farts. In fact, some common farm animals like you enjoy basking in the humid odors they produce.
Like it or not, it’s common for seemingly rational adults and children to bend over after farting in such a way as to bring their noses closer to their anuses, whereby the sour breath is more potent, and thus more enjoyable.
But why do some secret freaks like the smell of their own farts? The reason lies somewhere between science and educated speculation.
Why do farts smell bad?
Farts smell bad because they are, literally, poisonous. Your body needs sulfur to function properly — it’s one of the most abundant naturally occurring elements on the planet. Many sulfur rich foods rank among the healthiest for humans to consume. These include:
- Brussel Sprouts
As your gut breaks down these delicious and sometimes-intoxicating foods, the result is hydrogen sulfide gas, which is extremely flammable.
Yes, breathing in fart gas will kill you, in theory, but you’re unlikely to get enough of it from your partner’s hot air release valve to die in your sleep. At low concentration, hydrogen sulfide merely smells god-awful. Also known as swamp gas and sewer damp (seriously), the low-dose version smells like rotten eggs. Crank up the volume, and it’ll smell sickeningly sweet, but you’re unlikely to experience this just from serving your significant other stuffed cabbage and pilsner at dinnertime.
Your brain knows something is wrong with the air you’re breathing, and your natural reaction will be to leave the scene of the crime.
Why your farts smell good: First take
Your farts may smell good to you because you’re highly acclimated to your own disgusting body.
It’s thought “normal” people will fart about five to fifteen times per day. However, the more you eat, the more your stinker whistles. Face-stuffers and fans of broccoli and cheese quiche will fart more. (Aside: don’t overeat before bed if the idea of making tender love at morning’s first light appeals to you.)
Say you fart 14-times per day and you’re 30-years old. Those who are good at multiplication will know that’s a lot of farts. Fried farts, cherry farts, and steak farts. Chinese farts, Italian farts, and even soul food farts. Regardless of what went into the furnace, you probably have an idea what the smoke smells like, and it’ll never be surprising to you the same way your partner’s is when they stand up after watching Survivor.
The whole thing about getting used to the stench of your own steam explains why you may not mind the scent of your own spookles, but why do you like it?
Why your farts smell good: Second take
Smell is one of the most powerful senses when it comes to memory recall, but “memory” is an imprecise term.
The smell of freshly ground coffee might make you feel optimistic about the day, even though that smell isn’t associated with a specific time you smelled coffee and something brilliant followed. Instead, your memory might be a fuzzy amalgamation of all the days you smelled ground coffee, drank it, and then felt more energetic and productive.
Applying this principle further, farting feels good. It’s the release of noxious chemicals, formerly putting pressure on your gut and butt. That tangy, yolky smell you just introduced into your and your partner’s bedroom smelled bad but made you feel physically good. In fact, it’s made you feel good your entire life. It’s a reason to celebrate, and maybe even stick your nose under the covers to learn what success smells like.
Have you ever felt strangely accomplished after dropping a large, smelly deuce? Same principle.
Either way, this is why your farts smell good to you, but terrible to me, your classmates, and the people you seek to have sex with.